Fall of my Senior Year

Everything has been very surreal for me, Senior year
I am finally realizing everything I love about my daily routine/and life.

The past couple of years I kept focusing on things that I hate, counting them up and giving them as reasons why I want to go to college so badly.

Isn't it ironic that we only realize what we have, when it is too late?

I love the typical batter between people I know, I love coming home to no homework and watching the t.v. til 10, I love knowing I am an Upper class man, I love seeing decorations for each holiday, I love changing for gym and the pathetic sports we play there, I love it all.

I feel like a cancer patient who was given 10 months to live. I realize that I won't be where I am next year at this time. Will I be alive? Well of course, but I won't be here, in this house I have lived in for 17 years, in this town, going to my high school.
I Will be at some college somewhere, God knows where, studying my butt off, stressed, lonely, and homesick. Nothing will be the same next year, except for maybe my name, but who knows that might change too. Who knows what the future will hold?

Am I getting cold feet? Yes, yes I am.
I guess I am just scared of the unknown, I will be by MYSELF, truly by myself for the first time...well ever. And I can't help but wonder, will I make it?

-Kathleen