Birthday

My birthday is coming up in less than a month and I know exactly how to celebrate it....with a chocolate movie night with my friends :) (Though I am lactose intolerant) I think it is a great way to just relax and laugh with my friends. One of my favorite movies is Chocolat, (one of the main actors is Johnny Depp) and I thought, won't it be fun to show my friends this movie and enjoy eating chocolate at the same time? I always get hungry for chocolate while watching the movie anyways...

Life Update

I would like to go to college to get away from all the stress my family brings.
But living on my own, had its own set of challenges and dilemmas.
If an article of clothes isn't washed, it will no longer be my mom's fault but my own. I may have to stay up late after studying just to purposly do laundry. When I want something to eat, I won't have a packed fridge and cabinets at my hands. It will be up to me to put on my shoes, and bundle up to walk across campus to the only school food store and or lunch room. It will be all up to me, and how I want to handle it. I partly feel that I will be successful at it though. Just having to worry about me and my work. I don't have a boyfriend so that also will make things easier. 50 schools days left til I graduate high school and then two months before I head off to college. I thought just yesterday I learned how to tie my shoes without the "bunny ears" didn't I just take the training wheels off my bike? But now I am driving a car. I can't imagine how my parents feel, they are the ones that taught me how to walk. They remember me way beyond my earliest memory.
I am ready for college. I am ready for the rest of my life.

Growing Up

What have I done?
I've just moved on
Past the arcs of memories
And into the sun.

The rays block my view
of what there is to come.
As I slowly move forward
what is done is done.

Time makes me forget
of the pain that I had.
And I eager look forward
squinting and reaching
for what there is in store.

Where are my bread crumbs?
Where have they gone?
They marked the path to memory
and what I've already done.

Did I move forward to fast?
Or did I miss the train,
As I was growing older
you grew more in pain.

But I must kept moving on
Standing still causes a fear
of being ambiguous and
you can only move forward into the sun.

Didn't you know that?
Or were the rules on clear.
The older you grow, the older
you appear.

It was not a trick, life
was not meant to cut you.
It's how you handle your fears
that life gave to you.

College!

I did it!!!! I enrolled into college!
I'm a college bound girl now!

Yesterday, I accepted a private not-for-profit college in the wonderful county of Lancaster and I can not wait! June please hurry up! I want to graduate high school already!

Nostalgia

It's kinda funny, I become the most nostalgic when spring comes around. When the season turns into spring, with warm and breezy temperatures, you are freed from a jacket and bulky clothing. At least where I live. And I become the most nostalgic around spring because spring and summer are where I have most of my childhood memories. I think to myself, wouldn't it be nice to be a younger kid again? With no worries, or at least simpler ones? Playing outside from sun up to sun set. Playing tag in the morning and man hunt at night. Not having to worry about school work, or the future. The future was the "now," the future was "what are we having for lunch?" instead of "what degree do I want to study?" should I study more for the SATs? You didn't have to worry about eating too much or too little, you ate till you were full than ran outside and played again.
What I really loved was playing in the dirt, and the mud, and out in the puddles on the sidewalk in rain storms. Being entertained by anything animated on tv and making friends with any kid who walked by. But I'm just probably forgetting about all the problems and mishaps of childhood. Being a teenage is great too, but soon I will be going to college and every now and then, I get scared. Really scared. What if I don't make it? What if everything I did to prepare was all for not? What if I'm not prepared? What if it is too hard?
I don't know, but what I would probably do is come home, and play in the next rain storm.

-Kathleen

Classic Novels

So I was sitting in my English classroom today. Homeroom had just started so I just sat there, bored. And behind me is this book shelf, with a nice menagerie of books in it. I looked at the top shelf and picked up the novel "The Lord of the flies". I remember that a movie version of it once came on when my dad and I were watching TV one day. But he changed the channel and said he didn't want me watching it; that was six years ago. I guess now that I am now older I should pick the book up sometime during this summer, I've been told that it gives a very shocking insight into human nature. Laying next to Lord of the Flies was A Raisin in the Sun I was about to read the first page but it was a play, and I'm not a big fan of plays. But it too I will pick up sometime in the summer, because the author sees the world from a viewpoint of which I am not familiar.
Right now in English we are reading The Catcher in the Rye and I absolutely love it. And I'm not even sure why. All the protagonist does is give an account of three days wandering around New York City trying to find himself and waste the days leading up till Christmas Vacation. But it is so full of teenage agonist and sorrow and disappointment, that I can identify with. That I can empathize with and reading the pages of the book is in many ways, putting my worries and anxieties on paper. Even though I am only in chapter 10, I already know that I will be sad once I finish it, because there is no more to read.

Aw The Fruits of Summer

I know that it is only March, but I am already thinking of summer.
The hot sweltering days, the warm breezy nights.
Just thinking of all that free time puts me in a happy mood.

And the one thing I LOVE about summer is the fruit!
Watermelon, Blueberries, RASBERRIES (my fav), canalope, honey melon, sweet due,
strawberries, grapes
berries, berries, BERRIES!!

The other day I made blueberry scones because St. Patrick's Day is coming up. And while I was at the store buying blueberries, I bought some strawberries too, and they are just soooo good!
Now since they are not in season, they are not as sweet or big as you can get them in August, but savoring each one just brought me back into my happy place.

Hoping you can find your happy place too,
-Kathleen