My brother Ethan Williams

As you may know, my brother Ethan, is many years older than me. I didn't see my "big brother" as much as I wanted to when I was little, however he was always standing up for me when I needed it the most. Over protected? I think he was just protective enough. There was once as incident where I was riding my bike around the neighborhood, and as I passed by house number 23, my bike flipped over and I ended up flat on my back. Luckily enough, I had an helmet on, but nothing was going to stop Joseanna, her evil twin brother, Hemie and their little group from beating me up. Many a time before I had been in fist fights with these two and members of their "gang" but never before had I have to face them altogether and alone. There I was on my back, with all the breathe knocked out of me, and a giant stick between the tires. Stunned and weakened, I slowly climbed to my feet and put my fists in the fighting postion, as they closed in around me.
Maybe it was chance, I call it a miracle, whatever it was, it was more than luck. My brother and his two friends came riding by, heading to the park on their bikes. As he saw my mangled bike in the middle of the street, and me no where to be found, he tore throw the nine year-olds and found me with a black eye. He didn't have to help me, since he had two of his friends to be "cool" around and helping his baby sister might have been pathetic, but he did it anyway. As the best big brother ever, he carried me all the way home, while his friends headed to the park.
"You should see the other guys," I kept saying the whole way, but he didn't put me down for the whole day. He brought me up to the kitchen, carried me to the couch and back, and served me any amount of food or goodies I wanted for the next two days. And for my birthday, he got me a new bike.
No matter how he acted around other people and his friends, to me he was the Hollywood big brother. Ethan was always sweet and helpful, and didn't mind me taggling along with him every now and then. I could have been with him more, but I was so thankful for having a big bro like him, that I didn't want to jinx it.
And even now, he is such a help! I was promised by Ethan, that when I graduate college, he will help me buy a car! (Even though I'm 32).

Beatrice Zinc

Have you've ever known someone, that seems really shy and quiet when she is by herself.....but then stick her in a room full of her friends and she lights up like a firefly and the sound level goes up too noches? Well meet Beatrice Zinc, one of the loudest, silliest, (and she is proud to call herself weird and crazy)! Her personality is like hot and cold. And she is my best friend.

The other day, I was reading the rough draft of her autobiography and in the epilogue she included a small paragraph about (quote) "The bestest friend I've had past the age of 23," so as a thank you, I would also like to include a paragraph about the bff I can always turn to.

Beatrice and I meet at an audition for a one-lined spot in a movie I cannot mention. This was during my attempt to become a movie star, and her attempt to pay the rent. We were the last too waiting to be called in the audition room, when a young spry girl, who looked about 16 popped out of the room screaming "I got it!" (Little did she know that she was only bragging to two women who didn't care, and a secretary that had left her desk, to grab a lunch break). Beatrice turned to me and said, "Well, I guess it's time for the next audition."
'Next audition? You have a list of auditions?' I asked surprised, since this was my only audition for the day. I walked into every audition with an expectation of getting it, which never worked. I learned alot from Beatrice on how to nail jobs to be able to eat for the month.
"Yah I do," she said, "Oh I get it, you go to one audition a day? Well, sorry Kathleen that won't pay the bills, or buy you squat from the grocery store." She took me to all her auditions for the day, and we both landed a 5min spot on a t.v. show that was on cable at midnight. She needed a place to stay so I asked my other numerous roommates, and the beauty of poverty is you don't mind one more, since you've been in their shoes. Paupers are the most generous people I will ever know. So, of course they said 'Sure!'
Right when reality was hitting me in the face, she taught me to dodge and swing back. We helped each other when times were tough and jobs were limited.
However, I fianlly realized that I was never going to make it, so I moved back home and left that life behind, but not my friendship with Beatrice. After I left California, she left two months later poorer than when she got there.
I kept in touch through e-mails and well all digital devices. Last year I went to her wedding, it was the most beautiful wedding I will ever go to. And now with her husband, they moved across country, so I see her even less now. I don't think she will ever really know how grateful I was for her help in a time I was really in need.
So, if you have knowledge and someone is desperate for that knowledge, speak up and help them out. You might just make the "bestest" friend you will ever have.
Thank you Beatrice Zinc Brithe!

A lot? or Alot?

To me a lot will always be alot.
Why would you want to tear two letters, that belong together -apart?
Here is a list of words that belong together like alot:
Today or To-day
Tomorrow or To-morrow
(I have seen these spelled both ways)
Belong, Together, Pancakes, always, forever, everybody, everyone, forget, forgot, forgive, football, baseball, basketball, dashboard, forseen, upgrade, bookmark, cellphone, carpet :), Northland, cranberry, strawberry, blackberry, CHERRY (no not cherry :)), powerful, infuse, blueberry, enriched, prevent, behalf, lifetime, worldwide, wideopen, into....
hmm it seems I need help with this list
if you are HELPFUL ( this should go up in my list) and know more words that BELONG TOGETHER, please post them in the comments box. I would like, and find it interesting to see how many we can make TOGETHER. :)

A lot, just too much

It's a Friday afternoon, and I seem to have alot on my mind. So in order to function properly like a normal human being, I try to forget my worries intill worrying about them is needed. One way I do this is by talking, to myself, in my head, out on paper or a digtal screen.
There are two topics I must get off my chest. They are not about my probelms, well one is, but they are things I see everyday, or think whenever I hear those words...
First: The flooding of the end of my street
Second: How I hate that saying "What doesnt kill you make you stronger" how do you know that it didnt kill you? Maybe not physically, but inside, did it mess with your head? What about emotionly? It could damage you in ways that you can not recover nor get better from. Sometimes bad is bad, and hurt, hurts....alot.

Continued of: Oed to Kristie

It seems to me, that the more I talk about her, the more I loath her actually. She has always gotten more attention from my mother, though she is not her child. Why would anyone love such a violent shrimp? That is the question I keep asking myself, maybe its because she is a giant shrimp. With just a clap of her hands, and she can get whatever she wants, and get it fast! I do love my sister dearly but it gets harder as I become more and more jealous of her easy life. For one, she finished high school, the first in the family. And as I mentioned before, I dropped out of High School, when I was a Junior sto go into show business. Well, she was the one to push me in that direction, and made me believe that it would be so easy. Well, reality was a big slap in the face. Not only was I sharing a room with seven other girls, all who came to Hollywood, to make it big, but I had to go without the simplest comforts many times. This whole skeem of hers was to set me back. I have yet go to college, a feat I will acomplish. Even though she got most of the attention when we were little, the older I got, the better my mom got at spreading the attention and Kristie did not like that. And so once I did not graduate High School, she could be the star in all their eyes, but fortuantely it did not go that way. Even though she went to excellent colleges, mom and Grandma Ruby, bragged about me more and got a bigger kick out of seeing me in stampede seens and commerials.All in all, thing eventually evened out and Kristie lightened up alittle about being the best, alittle.
Now more about about Kristie:
Kristie is a materialistic brand name girl who seems to be anti- GO GREEN. She sticks her nose up at anything homemade or knitted (which are my favorite hobbies). I just live life so muc simpler than she does. The life expectancy of anything in her house (clothes, decorations, plants)
is about four months or less (usually less). But enough about Kristie, her life is her own, and her story is something she can write and publish. She is perfectly cabable of that.

Oed to Kristie: My older sister

*sigh*
so two post ago I relieved a little about my older sister Kristie. She is my half-sister who is exactly three years older than me. Kristie has quite an infamous repretation around the family, known to be very violent when raging angry, and when she just feels like it. She also has an obsesstion with shoes. I personally believe that it is very unheathy to have such an obession and I tell her constantly not to blow her pay checks at Payless, or she will be living in a box. However, I have a language edge on her. Though I cannot spell, she cannot pernounce the simplest words such as Massachuetts and her vocab use it even more limited, making her ponder the definition of "enclose." But I love her to death and more, even though she has many querks that define her.
So...more about Kristie,
she is a 5 foot wild fire that won't let anyone get in her way, or put her down. She was and still is the best in the arts such as acting and dancing. And is a pleasure to take shopping, she haggles as much as a old salior; and when I get back from the mall with her I tend to have a million bags and only have spent a hundred dollars or less. She flits around from job to job by her own choice. She attended Penn State, Stanford, and the University of Colorado and graduated with a Ph.D in Biology, Chemical Engineering, and Antropology. The reason why she keeps getting jobs is both obivious and questioning, and the reason why she keeps leaving her job is because she gets bored of the work, the people, and the scenery. Next year, I will be backpacking across Europe with her, if my job permits it or not. Either way, she is throwing me on a plane to Switzerland and before no time we will be "the hills and alined with the sound of music!" Whenever I need help in tahe curling my hair area, she is the person to call, Kristie never lets anyone were the same dress twice, is she has anything to do with it. (But we do anyways) I often wonder where she financially, because no matter what it is she never lets it show. She is the perfect example of living life to the fullest, cause you only got one. Her house is my dream house....literally! It was the one down the block from where I live now. Before I moved into the neighborhood I looked at the dream house and the one I live in now, and I really wanted the dream house but she got ahold of it before me....throwing a better asking price. So instead I bought the other house and has made it my misson to visit her everyday, just to annoy her.
To be continued..

Violet Seasons ( A fiction story)

This is only a rough draft
enjoy :)

It was the last time, I would ever lay eyes on the ocean. The rolling waves of blue and the golden sand. But, I did not know that. For some reason I did not have the power to look into the future that night, and take in the scenery one last time, nor would I ever have that power. It was one I always wished I could have, a wish many people can say they share with me. I did not take the advantage to breathe in the salt air one last time, nor did Icapture an imagine of the seagulls for mine to keep. After a long day of sun bathing, whoots and hollers, and dipping my toes into the surf, I threw my sun beaten teal bag into the trunk of my 1974 volkswagen, slipped on my sunglasses and drove off into the sunset. I pulled a all nighter that night to be able to reach a descent hotel in Tennesse. There I sunk into bed at 4 o'clock in the afternoon and didn't dare to wake before 12 the next day. My destination: Missouri. My territory. My home.

Disclaimer: For my own personal safety, some of my personal experiences are a little, well stretched.

Now I know it's Saturday, so I should be writing a story, but my whole life feels like a fiction story. And my sister constanly tells me it is...( but truthy I don't trust her honesty since she has been known for telling people lies about me. Once when I was oh around ten, she made me believe that my first words were spouk comes to America....but that is a very long embarassing story, so I'll tell you about that later.)
Any who I felt that I should reveal more about my disfunctional life.
I am currently a girl in her thirties who is attending night school.
When I was a junior, I dropped out of High School, because I wanted to go into show business...
yah... I only ended up as an extra in movies, not the star but thats ok

I long to have a career that I love to go to, makes a good amount of money,
but as anyone can conclude that is a little harder to do than to say.

Saturday

It's Saturday! You know what that means!
Fiction Day!
This is what I have so far...
Main character: Evanlyn

and thats as far as I got.

A deeper look into who I was, who I am, and what I want to become

As you may know, I am writing with Sunday's topic, the reason why is that Monday's topic is alittle depressing and well today is a happy day since it is my mother's birthday.

Well who I was.....
The most memorable experiance I have ever had was at the circus. The tent was red and blue stripes and the smell of popcorn filled the air. I was exspecially excited, since I only got to go to the circus once a year. My uncle Warren was the one who took me and that year when I was eight, my older brother Ethen, tagged along which was something he rarely did since he was nine years older than me. I can still recall the browning straw beneath my feet and the cruching sound it make as stomped on by. I knew from previous occasions not to wear sandles since the straw would inch and scratch my feet. The lines weren't long and the tickets were cheap enough that uncle Warren bought Ethen and I carmel popcorn and sodas. Sitting in the metal stands, and watching the yellow glow I felt like a rich kid on Christmas Eve, I just couldn't wait until it started.
To be continued...

Thursday Questiontime!

Ever been stuck in the rain?

In fact I have......
I was with a travel group in Swizterland or Germany and the tour bus was steadily trucking up the narrow road up the side of the mountain to reach a birds of danger reserve. When we got there, the sky got dark and gray, however, we still went into the outdoor arena to watch the presentation of the hawkers. Soon the dark sky got darker, and with a titantic roar, it opened up upon us. The rest of the presentation got canceled, and we all ran into the nearest diner, which for some reason was at the top of a mountain and next to a nature preserve. Now the travel group I was with, was full of 30 kids and three counselers and the diner had only two bathrooms. Now in Europe, public restroom aren't free! So one of my counsels, Jodie bought a cup of hot chocolate to kinda of pay for all of us to use the bathroom in a sense. And I'm nice, ny friend and I let all the kids use the bathroom before us. After each kid used the bathroom, they exited the diner (including the other two counseleres) back to the bus. Then finally Jodie used the bathroom, and the three of us went outside to go back to the bus. We took a wrong turn and ended up pretty far down the mountain, on a different road. However, we quickly got ahold of our bearings and well, thats when it decided to rain harder and harder. Back at the diner, we took another road that actually lead uphill, and still we could not find our way back to the bus, and getting soaked in the process. We kept taking both roads, searching and searching for the bus. Fianlly, Jodie suggested that we go back to the diner and wait for someone to get us. The road we actually where supposed to take, back to the bus was slightly hidden by some brush, or it was not filmerlare,... I don't really know why we couldn't find it the first time. However, we did once the bus driver beeped his horn. By the time we got on board, all three of us, where laughing our heads off, and practically soaked to the bone.

That was the first time I really got stuck in the rain.
That was the funniest time, I will ever get stuck in the rain.
And I hope that is the last and only time I get stuck in the rain! :)

That will be the funnest time I ever got stuck in the rain.

To be titled: A poem I wrote two nights ago :: I'll just call it a Light Poem

There is a giant ice cube outside, and it froze last time we had a frost. It is really the water out of the dog's outside water bowl. Now it has rained the whole day, however the ice cube is still not completely melted, and I was sure that I would not find it in the back yard. However, there is it, like a waining moon..
maybe there is still some hope, for hopeless causes.....

Anyways... heres the poem, I hope you like it!

As I peer out my backdoor window, looking out among the dark, over the fence and across a street, there is a house. It looks out among the neighborhood, and as the sun grows weary, a bright, brillant, beautiful yellow light a peers between the ivy. I cannot recall it not there, nor do I know if it ever wasn't.
It evokes a dream in my never dreamless future a want and hope, I might one day have. After my awarked years and know it all faith. Then will be a me of different values. A one of mostly want, and wishing, where all she feels is the need for missing. As she comes upon that light, she passes it, but turns around, and says "I don't know what to do with this light...."

If I was 17, I would run after that light

and explore it.

If I were 25, I would run after that light,

explore it, and fall in love.

If I were 28, I would fall into the light

and feel its warmth around me

and dance in its glims.

But I am not 25

I used to be 28

and 17 is a dream that floated over the last hill

I crossed.

Now standing on the bridge,

ageless I can fly

and the light is mine.

Wednesday: Middle of the Week Pandemonium

Hum.. to write about the stresses of life?
Thats not too hard!
Tomorrow I have a test in Math and my project is due in English.
Friday will be the most fun, with a vocab test in English, seventeen question due in Social Studies, and I have a Bio test on DNA, along with her homework due.
Hum... at least one thing is for sure, the rain actually came,
even though it was not as big as everyone expected, it still came.
To a pessimists' world, there is always a optimist
and to every bad, there is a good.
And to every hopeless case there is some light at the end.

Random Box

I live in an area where great storm expectations come around now and then, but they always turn out less than expected. And whenever I get my hopes up, I get disappointed. Sometimes I just need a snow day, a day off to catch up with everything in my life, but I don't get it.
I have lost all faith in weather reports.
I do not read the morning newspaper to look for the highs and lows of the day. Neither do I really pay attention when the meterologist pops up on the screen. But the hardest to tune out is when everyone in the school whispers about the expected coming storm, and then others chime in promising even greater distruction, which means one thing, NO SCHOOL! Some teachers even plan around the coming few days because of all the hipe they've been hearing. And then the rain or snow, or even ice comes. It spinkles and dances, and 2 out of 3 times actually sticks to the ground. But then surprise surprise! It stops. Thats it. Boom done, squat, nada.
And then the next day you have to hear about all the snow and blizzard and flood the northern area got, but where I live nonthing.
*sigh*
I have lost all faith in weather reports.
But then again there is supposed to be a big storm tonight.....
no, no the sky is quiet and hasnt even started, technically its two hours late according to weather reports....
Could it be the calm before the storm?
Should I hope, anticapate? Wait on the edge of my chair? Do I hear the wind pick up outside?
Well, I guess I could suffer through one more disappointment.....

The Future of my bolggs

It seems that since the creation of my bog, I have not been thinking about anythign else. Writing in a blogg promotes creativity and freedom. And so in an effort not to have random boggs, which Im sure there will be many anyways, I have devised a plan that will let me write everyday in an ordered fashion. Also, sometimes I feel likw writing, but I don't know what to write about. So the list below will help me to always have a topic to write about. Dreams and Wild Things will now on be sort of a journal.
For eveyr day of the week, I will have guide lines or a topic idea that I will have to write about. It will be a universal topic, so my bloggs are not the same.
Sunday: Who is Kathleen: A deeper look into who I was, who I am, and what I want to become
Monday: Monday Woes: A look at the week ahead
Tuesday: Random Box: Any topic of the week or something I had on my mind
Wednesday: Middle of the week pandemonium: The stresses of school and home
Thursday: Questiontime
Friday: Opinion of the current situation of the world
Saturday: Storytime Fiction

Other days that require a Random Box, if I wish are....
Rainy days
Snow days
Blizzard nights
Limited time wise
and or a
Need a Therapist days, where I just need someone to listen

The above plan is not for comment because it is a schedule

no matter how lame or stupid it sounds please restrain yourself and move on

:)

Ever had a spot of tranquility? Was it a store or favorite forest? Or was it just simply your spot in the garden where you could take in the sun and listen to the birds? I have yet to find this one spot, mainly because I have so many to choose from. A spot of tranquility is a spot where no matter what mood you're in, it lightens your day. And, no matter how many times you have visited it, you cannot wait to go back. It might be a waterfall slide, or a park bench covered with grafti, no matter what or where it is, it is your spot. A place where no one can unmind your abilities, where you are the boss, the popular crowd, the principle and not the janitor. If you do not have a spot like this, I suggest you go for a walk and find one.

She has no idea of what to come

As the holiday break winds down, I can not help to feel that the peace I feel will soon diminish. Along with school comes an unparamount amount of stress. Just thinking of the anguish lingering just hours away promises to steal my restful sleep. I worry that there is something to await me at school, and I cannot even imagine its magitude. Over this time in December which transitioned to the New Year, I have forgotten everything at school; which includes how to handle this newfound stress which I surely will incounter....
But in a different weird way, I am almost relieved to go back to school. To get the year over with, to see my friends, and to get back to my life. And to become social again, unfortunately I tend to lose touch with my friends over breaks and summers. Something I have to work on.
To be continued...

MadTV or SNL?

It seems that my family and I have been MadTV fans for a couple years, until the political campaign started. I believe that some of those Sarah Palin skits will put SNL back on the funny map. People have told me that SNL was really known for their acts and comedians of the seventies, when they first came out. But now it seems their back!

I'd rather be hiking

Winter is just fine. It has a majestic beauty of white snow and quiet forests. It is the only time in nature when death and desolation can be beautiful. However, no matter how positive I try to be, it is hard not to crave the warm temperatures of spring. Where all around you is green, life is hard not to find, and it has a secret meaning that happiness will always shine through any situtation. The following two seasons are my happiest times outdoors where I can hike and fish to my heart's content. My imagination is distracting during the winter months, because all I can think about is what I would do when its warmer. And during the warm months I can't stand to be inside because I'd rather be outside, I'd rather be hiking.