16

So next Tuesday, on Cinco de Mayo I will turn the big one. The one that marks how old and mature I really am, and have become.
I will be 16.
A couple years ago I remember looking at my sister when she was 15 and 16 thinking 'wow, where have the years gone for her?' while not even thinking that one day I would be the same age.
I will be entering a stage of my life where soon I'll have to take on new responsibilities. I soon will get my permit, have to take the pSATs, SATs, HASPA and more. Next year, I'm going to have to start looking at colleges! But I don't feel that old, it hasn't sunk in for me yet. I still feel like a like child and when people start saying college, I think to myself, I'm too young.
Nothing has really sunk in since Freshman year. Because you see in middle school, you don't realize how old you really are or what the future holds, you're all about yourself and take one day at a time without even realizing it. I felt apart of middle school, like it was mine, but not for High School. I walked in on the first day of Freshman, feeling out of place. I didn't shriek to my friends "wow can you believe we're Freshman,' because no, I couldn't feel and I still don't as a sophmore, "the wise fools," apart of the High School. Its not mine. My age of 15 did not become me. I almost have no identity, no age, no home town, no High School. I don't feel connected to them in anyway. I could move tomorrow and not miss a thing except for friends.
I almost envy some of the Freshman, they walk around the school, like they own it, they feel comfortable within its walls...how come that never happened to me? Will I next year feel the school is mine since I would have been in it longer? Will I be able to say, "Yeah, that's my school with pride?" I still view the space station of a school as I did as I was young, someplace I may be someday, but I won't think of it now. But it is now, it has happened, that someday is here, I go to the HS, I attend the HS, I am in 10Th grade!
Often times I like to think back, to find out where this dissociation started so I can pin point whether there was an event in my life that I don't remember, that happened to me to make me feel not apart of the school. Every now and then I catch a little glimpse of pride of being the Class of 2011, but then it quickly disappears when I realize it.
I remember when I was graduating from 8Th grade, I was proud to be apart of my class, to be in Team D, it was mine, my people.
I guess its better to feel unconnected to my High School, it will help me move on in life, but what i am afraid of is that I will feel this pride to late, like at my graduation and wont be able to experience, bask in this pride, the glory of being a High Schooler....

Phases of the Moon

One night I looked ...
to be continued

Salad

I now officially like to eat my salad without any dressing!
Which is a tons healthier for me any ways but I still like....

• ice tea
• tea with 5 spoons of sugar
• eating brown sugar out of the jar
• juice
• and much much more!

Keep reading my blog because in the coming weeks I will be writing a story every now and then. I can't decide if I should make it fantasy or regular fiction.....

GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS PLEASE! This is my first time (not writing a story) but putting it online for people to see.

The title will either be something with moon in it or Just In Time For Dinner/Supper

Happy Easter!!!

Catch her

Catch her while shes falling

catch her while shes there

this is your chance

to save her from the snare

Before it's too late

Before she gives up

Getting up is harder

when all you do is fall.

It's not too late yet

she still extends her hand

Pleading with her eyes,

for someone to understand

Take the advice I give to you

Don't let her down today,

save her from all that causes her dismay

Don't miss your chance now

before the odds become to slim

for the help you give only sinks in.

I have once too given a friend

help too late,

Working against time is harder

even less can you relate

Memories start to fade

and fun times waste away

Then only from a distance

can you watch and wait

-For you see her life just unravels away

A dear poem

Dear Sami

never give up

never stop short

away is were your going

Just keep in mind

Where you've been,

it's time to forge your own life.