Merry Christmas!

(above) This is the famous tree in Rockfeller Square in New York

(below) Here is our fraser fur Christmas Tree! We finally got it! And I love it! Now it finally feels like Christmas. We used white LED lights and a white fake snow.

(below) Here is the angel on the top of our tree. We always use an angel instead of a star because it looks like she is looking down at you and protecting the tree and the presents.

Making cookies is fun to do in the kitchen. But I ate them all.

I will post again after Christmas.

Enjoy your holiday if you do or do not celebrate Christmas.

But for those who do...

Merry Christmas!!

-kathleen

Radio City Rocketts

I saw the Radio City Rockettes Christmas Show!

It was fantastic! New York was cold! But the decorations and the experience were great!

-Kathleen

Christmas Tree

My family needs a Christmas Tree,
and we need one badly!
However, this year we have two options....
(1) Go out and buy a tree
or
(2) Cut down the blue spruce in the front yard.

No matter what we do, I'm voting for #2!

Happy Solict
Happy Hanukkah
Merry Christmas
Happy Kwanza
Happy New Year

Hapy Holidays
and
Season's Greetings
-Kathleen

Advent

I think it's really pretty,
watching candles burn down.
Watching the wax roll down the sides.

I am Catholic and December is a big month for us.
We celebrate Advent, which is a nice little tradition we do
which represents the coming of Christ's birth.

It starts the fourth Sunday before Christmas.
And every Sunday including that one is represented by a candle.
Four candles and they go in the order
Purple
Purple
Pink
Purple (or red, red, red, red)

Right now my family has the first two purples lit and we will light the pink one (to represent Mary this Sunday). We light the appropriate candle everyday during dinner. When a Sunday comes up, that is when we lit the next one.
For example this week I've been lighting the two purple everyday.
This Sunday we will light the pink, then we will light those three all of next week.

It ends on Christmas day.

Also you know that song "12 days of Christmas?"
Well it is actually a real thing.
Christmas day represents the first day, and we celebrate Christmas for 12 more days. It ends on January 6, that is when we believe the 3 Wise Men found their way to the Christ child to give him Gold, Frankincense, and Muir.


Of course I'm not trying to convert anyone, I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.
This is just a little note about what I do for the holiday, and I love hearing what other people do for their's. I have an interest in celebrations because they are what make people unique. But haven't you ever notice, that they also are very similar?

Have a wonderful Holiday, Seasons Greetings
and have a Happy Safe Heathy New Year!

-Kathleen

P.S. Have you ever tried to get a Christmas Tree into a split level house?

Not easy!

Fall of my Senior Year

Everything has been very surreal for me, Senior year
I am finally realizing everything I love about my daily routine/and life.

The past couple of years I kept focusing on things that I hate, counting them up and giving them as reasons why I want to go to college so badly.

Isn't it ironic that we only realize what we have, when it is too late?

I love the typical batter between people I know, I love coming home to no homework and watching the t.v. til 10, I love knowing I am an Upper class man, I love seeing decorations for each holiday, I love changing for gym and the pathetic sports we play there, I love it all.

I feel like a cancer patient who was given 10 months to live. I realize that I won't be where I am next year at this time. Will I be alive? Well of course, but I won't be here, in this house I have lived in for 17 years, in this town, going to my high school.
I Will be at some college somewhere, God knows where, studying my butt off, stressed, lonely, and homesick. Nothing will be the same next year, except for maybe my name, but who knows that might change too. Who knows what the future will hold?

Am I getting cold feet? Yes, yes I am.
I guess I am just scared of the unknown, I will be by MYSELF, truly by myself for the first time...well ever. And I can't help but wonder, will I make it?

-Kathleen

Flour Baby!

(Sorry the picture is not rotated)
Here is my flour baby. Her name is Nikita Rose Adenike.
And yes she is wearing a leather Harley Davis jacket.
(She is actually my sister's flour baby) But I changed her name, clothes and attitude.
I named her Nikita after the CW11 tv show about the Russian Assiassin.
So yes, my baby is a Russian assassin.
Since I am a senior, I have to participate in my school's senior health project of dressing up a flour sack and carrying it around for an entire week. We were supposed to take our "children" to places outside of school however, no one did that.
This project was more fun than actually educational....but I guess it taught me that children are an annoying burden, because well my five pound sack of flour was.

And on my "future life" project, I found that I would only save $4.32 a month if I lived life as comfortably as I wanted to...
Sigh, I guess I'll just have to marry rich!
-Kathleen

"Click"

Oh glorious submit button
pressing you can lead me to happiness or down a path of sorrow

Please oh please submit button return a "yes" to me!
Return it quickly, with speed like never before.

Make my dreams, not my nightmares, a reality!
Oh glorious submit button, I ask you for so much
when I have nothing in return.....

But please oh please, dear submit button
Help me out!

So today I submitted my first college application! And it was scary, I called my Dad up and was squealing like a little girl on her birthday. I had checked the essay over and over, and corrected all my spelling mistakes on the application. I submitted the supplements, had two reccommendations and was ready!

By the end of this month, I hope to have ALL my college applications written, corrected, done and submitted/ mailed out!
-Kathleen

Flour Babies

So I am a Senior and for our Senior health project....
we have to carry around a five pound bag of flour for a week.

What you have to do is buy a five pound bag of flour, and a Styrofoam head.
You can make the baby arms and legs out of panty-hoes or stockings. Then dress it in cheap baby clothes from Wal-mart or wrap it in a blanket.

I am using my sister's baby from two years ago (I only changed the name)
and when I say I am using my sister's baby...I mean flour and all.
So I hope there are no bugs living in my sister's baby!
My mom said that as long as I don't break her open, I should be fine.

This baby project is always so much fun. Seeing all the seniors walk around with their ugly creations (most are pretty hideous especially the boy's but the girl's usually put alotta work into their children, and therefore they are much cuter).

There have been cases of kids stealing other kid's babies and hiding them etc...

During lunch today, I got up to throw away my trash and when I got back my baby was gone.....and all that was left was her leather jacket (I got a biker leather jacket from build-a-bear and put it on my baby. She is known as "one bad ass baby" and on the back of the jacket, says 'Harley Davis") so I went searching all over the lunch room for her.
I asked all my friends and NO one knew where she went. It turns out that my friends who sit at my table, stuck her in a back pack (they had gotten up to go get lunch) so it was a good five minutes where I did not know where my child was.

And then when I found her, my one friend Sam the self proclaimed 'grandmother' (even though she is two years younger than me) stole her from me and started running away. I had to run across the lunch room to get her back. It was so funny.

Many teachers also love to teach their students a lesson. Our biology teachers like to steal people's babies and put them in the chemical vapor room when students get up to do labs. One teacher in particular brings in extra flour during the baby week, and after they steal the baby, he sprinkles flour on the desk, so the student thinks that someone ripped their child to shreds.

I went to soccer today and one freshman girl asked what would happen if she dropped it. (Now I think she is a little demented in the head, because come on aren't you old enough to realize that the duck tape four sack might break open, the Styrofoam head would crack.......) and I would fail, and we both would have to clean up the flour?

I especially feel bad for the babies on Friday....they just never seem to make it home. On Friday after school, all the kids who don't plan to make cookies with their flour like to throw it down the stairs, or dump it in the parking lot.

Having too much fun playing with her flour baby
(named Nikita Rose Adenike Genesis Z)
{named Nikita after a friend and that TV show about the Russian Assassin}
-Kathleen

Blogs

I always like coming across a good blog...
like this one that I found

stateofdress.blogspot.com

Eating at the Shoppes

Can you make a bird sound with your hands?

Friends can make even a simple dinner, really exciting <3

Kathleen

Update

So my friend and I are (its a joke, don't worry)

are thinking of joining a 'hippie commune" instead of going to college........

wellllllll



Oh and my other friend and I, were greek goddesses for Halloween

She dressed up as aphrodite

and I went as Atalanta/Athena/ Olympian goddess.

Atalanta was one of the Olympian goddesses, she was a fast runner so.....

I wore my track medals and then carried around my track shoes all night.



Those were my plans for Halloween
Happy Thursday everybody!

-Kathleen

Columbus Day Parade

Today I rode on a float in my town's Columbus Day Parade.

Even thought riding on the float was scary (because I was high up with only a pole to hang onto, and everytime the float stopped, I would fly forward) it was so much fun!

Seeing the smiling faces, waving at friendly people,

little girls exclaiming, "Look! Here come the princesses! Look the princesses. I like the the purple dress, I like the white and red dress....."

I definity am glad that I was able to experience the Columbus Day Parade from the float view,

I don't think that I ever had so much fun at a parade!

-Kathleen

Miss Columbus

Pageants.....what do you think about them?
I? Well I personally am not a big fan.

Strutting around half naked on stage, being judged on your appearance...
and then your "inner self."

Well every year around Columbus day, the local Italian American Social Club of my town holds a Miss Columbus contest for girls 16+ and from Italian Decent.
There were no photos or modeling envolved, and we didn't have to do a talent.

All we had to do, was to submit an application about how many Italian Activities we do, and what we do for the community + an interview where they ask the same questions.

Even though I did not win, I was included in the Miss Columbus court.
Last Friday, the Italian American Social Club held a ball for the Grand Marshall of the Columbus Day Parade, us girls were all given crowns, a bunch of roses, and a marine to escort us into the dinner. I got to wear my prom dress again!

I had a great time! The girls were so nice, the food was delicious and the room was beautiful!
They also gave us trophies, earrings, and fifty dollars!

Tomorrow, I will ride on a float in the Columbus Day Parade.

All in all, pageants might not be all that bad. I loved the attention when strangers came up to me and told me how beautiful I looked. It can really boost one's confidence.

Now I kinda wish that I could be apart of other pageants......

Try something new today,
Kathleen

But I believe everything will be ok

I feel a writing spell coming on....

I am a Senior in High School
with no clue of what I am supposed to do

I have to wear red decals to prove I am inexpirenced

I have to apply to colleges very very soon

I have only taken the SATs once, and I hope that will do

I have not really found a college that fits all my criteria

I have never had a boyfriend

I should find a date for prom

My soccer team keeps losing

I did not win Miss Columbus

I did not win the Penny Wars at school

My sister is stressed

My parents are upset

Physics is driving me insane

I have not heard back from Girl Scouts to see if my proposal for my Gold Award is execpted

School wants me to do more

I am gaining friendships with my friends but losing it with others

I am confused

I keep dreaming of asking people for help, for begging people to help.

I keep dreaming of hiding and escaping from an unknown evil, it changes everytime. But I have to sneak through doors, and hallways, hide in bushes and run away to get away, to save myself.
I find a person, hoping they are nice, asking for help, begging for help

I cannot sleep on my face, it gives me acne
I cannot touch my face, it gives me acne
I cannot miss a acne treatment, it gives my acne

I wear makeup but it won't come off

I want to feel comfortable
I lack self-cofidence, but I don't know where it went

Some people put me down, they think I am just confused and do not know what I am talking about
but I listen, but I forget, but I pronounce things wrong

But I Believe everything will be ok

I will find someone who I trust and can talk to

I will love myself and my body like I used to

I will play soccer like there is no tomorrow

I will smile after loses because I am alive and healthy

There is a college out there for everyone

There are people out there for everyone

Stresses will be relieved

Everything will be ok

I will get used to school

I will find time for a lost friend

I will manage my time effectively

I will count the people important to me
and the people that I am important to

I will trust in what I am told

I will study, I will be bold

I will come up with logical explanations for the things that I disagree with

I am alive and I am well

and I believe that everything will be ok

I do not have to grow up in one day, there will be people to help me along the way

Some people will apose me, but that will be ok

because they are the challenges that make you stronger

and everything will be ok.

-Kathleen
and if you feel like no one loves you,
just know that I think you are important to me
Even if I do not know you, just reach out

A failed attempt

I tried to copy and paste my essay about relationshpis......,..but blogger wouldn't let me. So I tried saving it as a picture and well you can see how it turned out...

I hope everyone is enjoying their September

-Kathleen

The Smell is in the Air...

So today as I was walking home from soccer practice, I smelled oatmeal cookies. I could just imagine the little darlings cooling on a cooling rack next to a window somewhere, and I wanted them! I wanted them so badly! I could smell the cinnamon, taste the vanilla, feel the joy as I bit into a little piece of heaven!!

(sorry if I am making you hungry)

So what did I do? I quickly did my homework and preceded to accumulate all the ingredients that were needed. But I was faced with a delema, I did not have enough oatmeal for a batch. The most essential ingredient!

The cans looked so empty....I was just about to give up when the most engenious plan came to mind; make a half-batch.

So with....

1 stick of butter

1/2 cup of firmly packed brown sugar

(I forgot the 1/4 cup granulated sugar)

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 and 1/4 cups of flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda (not powder! I almost made that mistake)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

and of course 1.5 cups oatmeal

And it was a good thing that I did decide only to make a half-batch because there was only enough brown sugar for a 1/2 cup, and I almost couldn't find the cinnamon!

Good luck trying to bake when you have a craving!

-Kathleen

I never found so much difficultly in baking cookies, as when I want them so badly!

More SATs stress

I took the SATs in May, and I did pretty well.
That was after taking an SAT course, but I didn't really study, since then I have already sent a couple colleges my scores....
now comes the option to take the SATs again
I feel like I would study more this time, but I don't really want to take it......
and I would be missing a soccer game. BUT my team is lacking girls this year, and I know one of my team mates is planning to take the SATs on the date I would be taking them.
If I were to sign up, I would have to pay a late fee...what if I didn't do better?
But what if I didn't get into the schools I want to get into?

See the probelm I'm in? And I have to make a decision in like the next 24/48 hours....

Please I need more advice
Kathleen

An upside down reciprocal

Beautiful sorrow
Wonderful pain
Hilarious suffering

Everything is nothingness
and there is always a never

Its craziness that makes sense
and chaos that is calm
Whenever you lose, you have already won

Pleasant madness
Unbearable happiness
Sickening healing

There will always be a never
And a life of not is just
Whenever you win, you are really losing the game

But when live has got you down
with its crazy rules and laws that don't make sense
When people are passive aggressive
and physics has made your jaw drop
Just look to the sky
and watch the clouds because you are under them
And that is where you belong




Enjoying her first week of her Senior year of High School
-Kathleen

The end is nigh

I will be a Senior this year, my last year of high school, only 180 days left!

It feels hard to describe beyond a sense of 'awe', I am always asking, "is it really true? or am I in a dream?"
Are 13 years really up? Am I all grown up?

13 years ago, as a kindergardener I never thought about middle school, or high school or even graduating! But now it is the only thing I am thinking about. In just a short while I will be walking into the local hockey arena turned graduation area with adreline pulsing through my veins and tears running down my face.

I remember as a Freshman all the Seniors told me that high school went very fast, that in the blink of an eye, you're a Senior and going to college. I didn't believe them. I thought to myself, no high school won't feel that way for me...impossible......

Well here I am with only 180 days left of school, I hope to make the best of them and to enjoy each and every one.

Homecoming, Soccer ending, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Midterms, Valentine's Day, Track Starting, St. Patrick's Day, Lent, Easter, My Birthday, Track ending, Finals

.....Graduation day

For the love of the game?

I have played soccer since I was four years old. When in 3rd grade I switched from Rec to Travel Soccer and played with (pretty much) the same fifteen girls for six years. My dad was my coach, and he tried to be fair by giving all the girls the same amount of playing time.

When I entered sixth grade, which is the middle school for my town I tried out for the school team-and made it. It had been the first time I played for a coach who was not my father, and we practiced everyday.....which for me was very surprising.
But I noticed something that my travel team didn't have...older girls and cattiness. I guess I was just an annoying little girl to them, (I was really innocent) and they didn't really like me. I tried talking to them, but I would often get back a snide remark or a hint to brush off. The games were also a lot harder and I became really really nervous; I was nervous to play in the games because if I made a mistake the other girls would say something. And everything they said shank in, shank in real deep. So my playing started to lack, and me and the other two younger girls would sit on the sidelines and be lucky if we played five minutes at the end. There were a couple games when I was never put in.
This new world was a giant slap in the face for me. The coach's desire to win was so much different than my dad's and I became really quiet and deeply hurt by everything the girls said and did against me. A deep sigh, a 'you got to get there next time' it all hurt.
I remember the first game I played, the coach put me in, and when I couldn't get to the ball in time, it went out of bounds. 'That's ok Kathleen,' is what my coach said but a girl from eighth grade jogged over to me, and said 'you have to get that.' This was the first time I realized that no matter what I did, any and every mistake I made would be held against me.
Every year it got better, until I was an eighth grader one of the old girls and one of the better players. I was actually voted to be a captain along with the other two girls who also played all three years with me.
But.....my one friend decided to play that year, and the other girls didn't like her. There was nothing I could do about it and I was torn between respect from them and keeping my friendship. I somehow did both. But she wanted to play goalie....she thought she could play goalie...and she sucked real bad. Now I know that it was never the goalie's fault, but she made us loss the game..and the girls were of course ruthless.
Also, I had worked so hard those past three years, gone through the practices, the rain, the pain of running and of being unliked......finally FINALLY I could sit in the back of the bus. Especially because I was a captain, but my one friend who was the goalie had an issue of sitting in the back. For some reason it made her claustrophobic, and of course she asked me to sit with her since she would be all alone in the front...so I did. But I hated it every time. I felt like it was finally my turn to be 'one of the girls' and my friend was taking it away from me. Taking away my chance to sit in the back. The girls of course labeled my friend as weird for sitting in the front, why is she sitting up there? They would wonder, I thought that maybe I could escape their ridicule, but I probably too was labeled as weird.

So I ask why, why do people have to be this mean? And to cause so much hurt and pain when it is unneeded? Why do people have to be so cruel? Why aren't we more patient and kind? Don't people know what we say and do can cause scars that never heal? And that it changes victims from innocent human beings to people who wish ill of others? I have never hated anyone more than a person who is mean.
In my experience of middle school and high school soccer
I have changed to a colder, uncaring person. Because well, when I was caring....it didn't matter to them, they picked on me anyways. And also what did I ever do to them? To desire that kind of treatment? Yes I was just an innocent little girl why did you have to break me down?

Now as a Senior in High School, I thought in would be like eighth grade. Me being a 'top dog' but it is not so. The Juniors this year are really catty and pick on everyone and talk about everyone, even about themselves. As soon as one of them leaves, she gets talked about. Now I have befriended an extremely annoying, immature, weird, different, sophomore. But I do not hate her like they do, I do not pick on her like they do. I try to be patient and a friend (because can't we all just use a friend sometimes).
But now me and two other girls who are often partners with her for drills are receiving the same kind of treatment and ridicule. Just for associating with her. And I hate it.
First of all, how can this younger girls justify themselves? How dare they pick on someone who is older than them? I would never dream of doing something so hanous.
Second of all, I have worked so hard to be where I am right now, have waited so long for the older girls to graduate. But now this sophomore and her weirdness is going to screw everything up. And it is so unenjoyable for me. I do not know why I ever go back to play. For the love of soccer? Is my love that strong?
But this treatment makes my now hard skin even harder.
Being proud of who you are is fine, being different is fine
but being so freaking weird and immature is absolutely ridiculous.
I always try not to be weird for my friends, so that they would never be embarrassed to hang out with me.
I feel like she should do the same, or at least try. Doesn't she see that no one likes her? And that her strangeness is pushing everyone away, and making hell for the people who are trying to be nice to her?

-A disillusioned Kathleen

Time Capsule for 13 years from now

Dear Kathleen of 30 years,
I do not know how the decisions I make today will effect my tomorrow. It is August right now, and soccer has just started. I need to finish my summer reading books and start on my Girl Scout Gold Award, and I can already feel the pressure for school starting....
In a couple months I will have to apply to colleges, and with that pick out a major I want to pursue. Dad has already warned me that he will not pay for me to go to college as an undecided...if I do it is MCC for me. And also I would like to go somewhere else besides Rutgers.......
I am stuck between Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy. As you probably know Kathleen, Physical Therapists make more money, have to get a doctorate, (and in my opinion) do more for a patient such as helping them walk. However it is Occupational Therapy I have chosen to go for and I shall list my reasons. If you are, please do not be mad at me 30 year-old Kathleen, I am only a young adult trying to figure out the rest of my life. Do not think, 'why didn't I push myself and try for the harder major?' For I have thought this over many times. I understand both majors require lots of study in science....well I want to go to college to succeed not to fail mid-way through the journey and have to pick a new major. Physical Therapy is one more year, a doctorate, and makes more money. Kathleen if you are short on cash, I am very sorry that I did not go for Physical Therapy but at this time it does not appeal to me as much. I feel confident that I CAN become a Occupational Therapist, I cannot picture myself as a Physical Therapist.
I am thinking of working with infants (preemies) and or with war veterans....that is what I want to do. Either to help mother feed there preemies without choking them or to give back to my country and help those who fight for me.

Now I do not know where I will be in thirteen years. I do not know what my situation will be, but please understand that right now, I feel like I am under a lot of pressure, and I do not handle stress well.
Schools I am thinking of are
Stockton, Ithaca, Scranton, USP, IUP, Miseracordia, Ramapo, Rutgers, Penn State, ElizabethTown, and U of St. Augustine.

I hope all is well, and I hope you are happy and successful
Remember when you wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail?

Love 17 year-old Kathleen

My Parents part 2: My mother

After my parents's wedding, my mom got her wedding dress dry cleaned and packed up in an air tight box. She always kept this box under her bed and of course, twelve years later, her curious daughter would find it. When I was little I asked my mom to open the box so I could see her wedding dress, of course she told me no, since she didn't want it to get ruined. So I asked her, when I turned sixteen would she open it up? and she agreed. Last year, two months after turning sixteen, I remembered her promise so we marched upstairs and pulled the box from under her bed. She had been very thin in her twenties and being 1-3 inches shorter than both her daughters.....none of us could fit back into it. But still it was cool looking at the life my mom had before she had us. That beautiful dress was a style of a different time...(oh the eighties).....but I really appreciated looking at her dress. I really appreciated my mom taking her wedding dress out of the protective box to show me.

I hope to one day do the same for my daughter(s)
when they are sixteen, to show them my wedding dress in person
your daughters might feel the sameStay happy and healthy,
-Kathleen

My Parents part 1: My Mother

My mom grew up in Pittsburgh, Pa with separated parents.
My grandmother who was the youngest of 13 children, dropped out of high school to help support the family so, when she split with my grandfather she had to work in factories and low-skilled jobs to try to make ends meet. She never drove, so my mother had to walk everywhere or take the bus. She missed out on many many opportunities and parties as a child because my grandmother didn't drive.
Now I love my mother very much, and appreciate everything she has done for me, but her childhood has left her bitter.
So whenever I ask her to pick up my friends, or take them home she sighs and it goes a little like this....
This is unfair, they need to pull their weight, how come their parents aren't coming to pick you up etc...
And this leaves me....feeling guilty
I feel bad whenever I ask her to take me anywhere, and when I have to pick up a friend. I don't know if my friends's parents just don't feel like driving their kids, or if they honesty can't get a ride. And quite frankly, when my friends's don't get a ride with someone else, they don't go...which also hurts me because I don't get to hang out with them. Is this a matter of pulling one's weight?

But also whenever I call my mom to pick me up somewhere, and she has to wait for me to get out....I always end up getting yelled at.
And it goes like this....
How come I'm the only parent that ever has to waitt, other kids wait for their parents. What took you so long? Do you know I've been waiting out here for X amount of minutes? I could be folding landry, or cooking dinner, I don't have time for this!

Now I love my mother very much. And I know I must be at least a little spoiled...but a big part of me is just so glad that I have my liscense now, and really really wishes that I had a car. Not for the sake of having a car, but so I can be independent...and not have to ask for my mom to take me all over. I tend to be stir crazy, so I get depressed whenever I stay in the house all day long. And take it out on her all the time, to take me somewhere.

But whenever my friends want to get together and they ask me for a ride, I get this knot at the bottom of my stomach, because I'll have to ask my mom for a favor....
and I know she'll ask, "why can't their parents take them?"

Prom Dress Mania!

So, the other day my friends and I went to the mall to hang out. And there were some summer prom dress sales at the store DEB....so we tried some on, because who is it going to hurt? But then when I came out in a white poofy prom dress and my friends absolutely died I knew I was in trouble. They started drooling, telling me how pretty I looked in it, and how it was made for me. BUT it was white. And I knew from last year that my mom does not want me wearing white until my wedding day. So I passed up the $30 dollar dress (yes it was that cheap), but I took a picture of it.

When I got home I showed my mom, dad, and grandma the dress and they all seemed to like it...and it being white didn't seem to bother them. Getting such a good response from my family left me with regret. How could I pass up that dress? I thought about that dress for the following week until I went back to the mall with my mom and sister. I went looking for the dress, expecting not to find it, but when I did I tried it on for them. (Part of me didn't want to find it just in case I became conflicted). The second time I tried it on, was different. The body seemed a little to big and I worried about the length and it had a small rip (which I could sow on my own). But as it turns out, the dress was on a final sale for $13. I talked about it with my mom and told her how unsure I was about buying this dress, but she said that since it was so cheap why not? After all I could always sell the dress online for like $30 and make a little profit.



I absolutely love it!!! However....


Is it weird to wear white to prom?
What if it looks too much like a wedding dress?
Will it look too cheap?
because I really really liked my prom dress last year!
and I feel like I have to get an even better dress for this year!

But I have ten months to think it over, and who knows? By next spring I might not mind the wedding look to it (I could always dress it up with red or black accessories).

Stay well and un-conflicted

-Kathleen :)

Stress in the Summer?

I have found over the past year that one way to reduce stress is to talk about it. Now I know it seems obvious, but I don't like to burden other people with my thoughts...and I don't handle school stress too well.

Here I am, on August 4th at 4:53 with a knot in the bottom of my stomach because I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am scheduled to take AP Calculus for my senior year of high school, with this class is a summer math project due August 6th....
now one reason why I didn't start the project was because I had been planning to switch out of the class anyways...but I didn't e-mail my conseulor until three days ago, and she hasn't e-mailed me back.

So do I go ahead and do the project? (That is the option I don't want to do, probably because it is the hardest)
Or not do it? Because I want to switch out of the class....partially because I will not take the AP test. But should I? Will it help me prepare for college?
But what if I can't switch out? Not doing the project will have a severe impact on my grade. And what if I'm not challenging myself hard enough? What if I could do it? And taking the easy route will some how blow up in my face later down the road? Like taking the easier math class will inhibit me from getting into college, a good college, or a college program that I want?


See what I mean? Summer stress...
I never had this stress back oh say in the second grade...because I didn't care about school. Maybe this stress is my way of caring?!

Recent Books

I have recently come across two books that I absolutely love....The Help by Kathryn Stockett and Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.
I can't put The Help down and as a mandatory book, Things Fall Apart isn't half bad.
I am about halfway through each of these novels and so far love the story plots/
The Help is narrated by three women stuck in the midst of the 1950's. Taking place in the south, these women talk about their experiences of racial tension during the Civil Rights movement.
Things Fall Apart takes place in a traditional village in Nigeria. What I find so fascinating is this African culture. This book gives a first hand look into traditional Nigerian culture, that I wouldn't be able to learn about or experience anywhere else.

I feel that the summer gives us the motivation and the curiosity to find new books to read, and finish those books that we never got around to.

I never got to finish
Wuthering Heights
The Whistling Season
The Mayor of Casterbridge
and I can't wait to start
As I Lay Dying
and
the second novel to SouthBound, Walking Home which is the return trip of two sisters nicknamed the 'Barefoot Sisters'. On the famous Appalachian Trail.

Have a safe and heathly week
-Kathleen

Memories: Post-soccer practice

We all have funny little memories of when we were younger. Some might be the quirky things we used to do, others might be the friends we had or the places we would go.
Here's one of mine:
I have played soccer either Rec or Travel since I was four years old and my dad had been my coach for all those twelve years. Sometimes after games and practices we used to go get some food or a little treat or beer (in my dad's case). I wanted to be a 'big' girl so I used to always walk in with him to the store. Young little me would walk around in my soccer uniform staring at all the bottles of alcohol thinking how pretty the bottles were. People used to stare at me, and as I got older they started to stare for a different reason. There was this one instance when I was little......I guess I was about 6-8 years old and after my dad paid for his six-pack, I grabbed the bag from him to be a 'big' girl or a 'helper' to help my dad carry his purchase out (like I have done with my mom), however the cashier stopped us and said, 'Sir she can't carry that out.' Thinking back on that now, my dad and I crack up. If your having trouble picturing the hilariousness of this memory think of any small girl trying to help her dad out by trying to illegally carry alcohol out of a beer store.

Isn't our childhood what shapes us for the future?
Well I know what I will be like....
helpful! of Course!!!!

My family vacation to Alaska

So after school let out, my family went on a vacation to visit the west coast - and I got to swim in the Pacific Ocean for the first time! We stayed in Washington and Alaska and Victoria, (British Columbia) Canada.

I got to see, Seattle and Juneau, Skagway, and Ketichan.

I absolutely loved the mountains and the cool air wasn't bad.

Even though the sun was never really bright, I don't think I would mind living out there.....

Update

Very resently, I changed my background and upon doing so...it kinda switched things around and messed some pictures up. But I guess if I play around with the pictures some more I'll get them to work.
So how's your summer been? Mine? Well sadly to me it doesn't feel like summer
plus it isn't really that relaxing because in the following year I have to
1. Volunteer 30 hours
2. Do my Gold Award
3. Finish my summer math project
4. Read my summer reading books (two of them)
5. Apply to college(s)
6. And hope for the best!

Have a happy and heathly summer!

The End of my Junior Year

So today was the last day of school, the last day of finals, the last day of being a Junior. In just a couple of months I will have to apply to college, go to my last winter and spring concert, play my last season of soccer, and run my last season of track. And I can't believe. I don't feel like a Senior, I feel too young and immature....Seniors are old, and well put together...that doesn't explain me! But except it I must, for everyday of Senior year, is one less day at my high school. And before I know it, I to will be graduating.
Walking into the stadium to the tune of fanfare and pomp and circumstance (never again will I have to volunteer with the orchestra and play it for older kids)
Looking up into the stands
And the cheering and the excitement
Speakers then speak, then names are called..]
then MY name is called
closing remarks, the moving of the tassel, and the throwing of the hats
The awwww its over
or the yikes! college has just begun
The tears and the crying and the pictures and the hugging
And knowing that some people I went to school my whole live with, from Elementary school on, I'll never meet again....
sigh but I am just a New Senior, or an old Junior trying to enjoy her last summer before graduating public education.

I remember Freshman year now, all the Seniors told me, you know it goes really fast, but I never thought that would be me. No, I thought, it won't be that way for me! It will go long and take forever....but I was wrong, with the blink of an eye I am a Senior.....
I don't even remember Freshman year anymore...sophomore year is a blurr and junior year is unbelievable...I feel...has junior year really ended? Like for real? Really ended? All that hard work I put in is it just for nothing? Or am I really that much smarter?

So the count now begins
I have taken Senior pictures,
and today was the last day of school
everything else I do for the next year....will be the last time I am doing it

-Kathleen

I'm 17 (late)

Okay so I am now 17!!!!!
(well have been for two weeks now)
but wow, I now have my driver licence and am one step closer to becoming an adult.
Oddly enough, I feel to young to be 17, as if it were an extremely old age. I feel too innocent, and immature to be called 17, and I certainly am not ready for adulthood next year!

And, last week I attended my high school's Junior Evening (prom) and boy did I have a blast (dancing the night away like the dancing queen I now am) !!!!

Also, I found two four leaf clovers today!!! So far May has been stressful, but the fun is soooo worth it!!
I hope all of you out there are enjoying May as much as I (omg it is almost over already?)!!!!

P.S. I got my SAT scores back (which are the vain of all High Schooler's existence!) and I did fairly well on them for having taken them only for the first time. I guess I will get into college after all, but now....what major will I go for?

April 24 Track

4/24/10

So today I went to the Randolph relays
the day started with me waking up at 5:30
and then spilling my coach's entire coffee...
then one of the girls in my team's pole vault relay twisted her ankle
which put her and us out of the competition
BUT
today despite the bad beginning, it turned out very well!
I got a personal best in pole vaulting, jumping over 7 feet!!!
This was my first ever time doing so!

Happy Saturday :)

April 20 Track

4/20/10

At this week's dual meet I made two PRs!



In the triple jump I got

28 feet

and then my new personal record of

30 feet!!!



And today in pole vaulting I made

6' 7'' or 7''

(the official did not actually know what height it was)



The day started out stressful and ended on the happiest note!

I had a Chem test but in history when I thought I got a 1 out of 6 I actually got a 5 out of 10 (on a pop quiz)

17 almost

OMG I will be 17 in three weeks!!!!

I am glad that this year I do not have the stress of a sweet sixteen, but I do have the stress of a driving test! I really hope I get my liscense!!

Wow am I really getting that old? And time is impossible to stop!

My track record

So as a third year track athlete I have come to find some events that really suit me!



Last Saturday I tied for first place in the high jumper at 4' 4'' (this was a novice meet) with another girl however she was awarded first place since she had less fowls. However, I am proud of my second place medal and since the other girl was a senior, I was not that bitter.



I PRed (Personal Best) in triple jump the other day at a Dual Meet at 28 feet

That is when you run do a hope skip and a jump into a sand pit.



My pole vaulting record rests at 6 feet 6 inches

I have been trying for 7 feet however without the proper equipment or training area/coach I am very proud of myself.



The 200m race is half of one lap and I knocked my time down to 29.34 seconds! And came in either fourth or fifth overall...not too shabby :)



Good luck to all those track athletes out there and say safe and healthy!

Track Athletes

(This was my track season of last year, I saved it as a draft but never posted it)
This year will be my fourth year running spring track as always I am very nervous because well track hurts! But I know by the end of this season I will be so happy that I did it, the same way I felt as any other year. But then again I can't wait to go to college and enjoy my spring break.....


This is the third year that I have been on my school's track team and boy can I say it has been the most interesting!

Last year our track was condemned because it was old and uneven so they tore it up and were suppose to put in a brand new one....WERE SUPPOSE TO...

It was suppose to be put in last June but got delayed...

(Track starts in March)

It was suppose to be put in March...but got delayed by snow

It was suppose to be put in the first week of April...but got delayed by rain

and so far they only have two very uneven levels of asphalt no where near to the final product...

but my team has overcome this obstacle, we have been running around the parking lot risking shin splits, tearing muscles, hurting ankles and knees but we are dedicated and persistant. So far we have won two track meets out of three and have triumphed. Our 4X2 in 12th in the country and second in the state. So if you need a little inspiration go to a track meet and you will see the most dedicated athletes around.

10 Rules to Live By (if you are a student)

As a junior I can at least say that throughout my whole life I learned a couple of things in schools like:

1. How to pass a test I did not studying for

2. Finish a paper the night before it is due

3. To finish your homework during lunch

4. If you have a later lunch period pack from home, all the good stuff will be gone

5. That questionable susbtance on the stairs should not be looked into, you don't want to know what it is

6. Though fights are fun to watch, you'll be late for class

7. The best bathrooms are always the furthest walk

8. Don't stare at the clock it might tick backwards except on tests then it speeds up

9. If a teacher forgets to ask for the homework, DO NOT remind them

10. A walk through a crowded hallway is more like a mine field, dodge and weave!

I'm proud to say that after 12 years of school, that I actually learned something!

But now as a Senior there is only one rule to live by

1. Be happy

I only have one year left I better enjoy it! (I hope to have a good year to make up for all those years I sorta disliked)

Happy Later Easter/ Spring I hope you are enjoying all this crazy spring weather!

Colleges

Colleges, Universities, oh my!

So my junior year in high school is coming to an end which means a few things
1. Hardest year almost over
2. Summer approaching
3. Senior year ahead

and so along with senior year I will have to apply to colleges (first pick out the ones that I like) then hopefully get into the colleges I want
and then find a way to pay for it .

Which sounds easy enough but just thinking of all the work I have to put into the process...is exhausting. But people before me have none it, so hopefully I will to.

But before all this I will have to graduate from high school! Just thinking about it gets me all excited. In 44 days I will be a senior, enter the summer of senior year and then complete my last year of free and public education! I cannot believe that 13 years have flowen so fast! From Kindergarden to Senior year I sure hope I am ready for the real world!

Heres the update: Track starts Friday! And i have been taking the HSPA the entire week! (If I don't pass I won't be able to graduate)

Oh and animal rubber bands have been taking over our middle school. As a high schooler, I do not participate in this trend. Sadly this is the first trend I dont understand..I'M GETTING OLD!"

Enjoy

SNOW!

Prom:

So my rebellious friends are planning an "anti-prom" while I (and it seems only I) really really want to go to prom and have a good time. However, I am worried and sure that if none of my friends go, I won't have a good time. For two years now I have been trying to convince them to go. My plan suggested that we just go as a group of friends, we don't need dates (after all it's not the 1950s). So far I have only convinced one friend. And she seems rather excited about it, probably because whenever I talk about it, I go crazy.

Ok so ticket sales are over and I am very ecstatic that I was able to convince three of my friends to go! So it won't be boring and lonely after all! The four of us are going as friends but if some boys ask us to company them (I don't think we'd mine). I also have a sophmore friend who is going to the junior prom with a junior so she'll be there too! My graduating class happens to be very well off ($) so there are alot of seniors and underclassmen going to MY prom, so I am very very excited! Hopefully next year I will snag myself a date but that is not the most thing to worry about, I just want to have fun!

A Tribute to my follower

I am a middle child, the second girl of my family. Now I don't like to admit it but I have always wanted or wanted to do everything my older sister has or does. Since that Christmas when we were three, and she got a Katie Kisses and Giggles doll - I just had to get one too! When she got a Game Boy Advance (which was advance back then) I just had to get one too, either to see what all the fun was about or to be be left out. I have done ballet, soccer, gymnastics all after her too. And whenever she starts playing the Sims or Dance Dance Revolution, I just get this urge to play too. I have a Facebook, guess who got hers first? And I have a blog, guess whose idea that was...yep you guessed it, her. Call it little sister syndrome or me just being a pain in the behind, my childhood toys and activities have been exact copies or clones of hers. However luckily for me, she has always been really good about it and continues to be! My sister has the patience and understanding of a saint.

Now the story of my blog is anything but original. During her senior year she had a teacher who assigned a blog project. My sister had to create a blog and write in it every week for one year. It was less than two months into the year when one day when she was typing away at the computer- an invisible force pulled me to the screen and the words, "what is that?" popped out of my mouth. Oh this is my blog she replied, do you want one too? And so my blog was born with an impeccably similar title.....hm wonder where I got that from. She is and continues to be my one and only follower. So heres to you Carmen, a tribute to my favorite sister, the best to walk this earth and most loyal follower (who does not forget to comment on my poor spelling and grammar). Cheers.

I want it here and now!

So it was just a quiet Saturday night with my family and we had just finished watching "Post Grad" which we watched On Demand. My dad turns to me and says one of the shows you were recording had to be canceled for us to watch the movie. I reply with, "that's b.s. we should be able to watch whatever we want to watch and record how many shows we want to record." My dad, the "all knowing engineer" then says, "that is so typical of your generation, to want whatever you want and want it now." And yes I agree, why not? Which got me thinking.....

One day when my generation grows up to be the bosses of the world, we are going to be relentless- we are going to ask the impossible of our employees because we want whatever we want, whenever we want it. I am so glad that I will not be working for my generation.....I pity the kids ten or twenty years from now....

"OOOh we're halfway there..."

Heres my update on midterms: I have one left!! And I am sooo excited, however that still means I have to study for it....precalcus. I'm not really worried though, because I have heard from friends who have already taken this test is that it is very close to the review sheet that my teacher gave us, which takes a load off. Thank God for review packets!!

Only if they never ended, now I know that in college you never get a review sheet - its the real world and no one is going to baby you. However, I'm not that worried, my ap teacher never gave us a review packet and it wasn't that bad.

I usually get sick around misterms and finals- from all the stress of studying. So far I have luckily held off any viruses *I'm keeping my fingers crossed* but unfortunately I have come down with a cold. This gives me another fear of college though, am I going to get sick everytime I have to take a test? Or do I get used to the stress? For all of you out there who are in college or are done with college, how do you cope with the stress, and have you ever missed an exam, midterm or final?

Daunting, Inevitable- Midterms

I have for this week, entered into the vicious cycle of midterms. They started Tuesday, and the last day for midterms is next Monday. I must take a two hour test twice a day. I have nine classes but seven subjects to study for, and I
am exhausted. So far I have taken my French and Honors Chemistry midterm and they will probably leave a mark for sometime. I spent my Tuesday night talking to the ladybugs who are still flying around my kitchen; and have been questioned of my sanity to which I reply the number of hours I am sleeping per night. My study skills have been anything but productive, however the thought of only three more tests till the weekend keeps me going. I absolutely love dinner time and potty breaks- they are excellent excuses for doing nothing for the next ten minutes to regain my focus.

I have for a long time questioned the practice of midterms- why must we be tested on everything we have learned for the past five months, and expected to do well? All of my teachers hate midterms (they are a pain to grade) and we kids hate to study for them (especially when your midterm is the next day and you haven't started yet). Since no one in the learning and educational community like midterms I suggest that we band the practice and just rely on normal tests to see how much we know.

Those for you so agree say "I!"

Happy Birthday Mom!

WARNING: If you light 52 trick candles (that do not blow out) and put then on a 8 inch round cake, it will catch on fire and turn into creme brulee... from experience

Okay, so today was my mom's 51st birthday. We wanted to do it up big since turning 51 is not as special as turing 50.. so we devised a devious plan....

My sister bought her a 8 inch round cake with buttercream frosting and we decided to put all 51 candles on that small little cake plus one for good luck. Now since her age is old (but trust me, she is anything but) we wanted to tease her to see if she could blow out all 52 candles at once. Now we both knew her lungs were heathly enough to do it, so instead we bought 52 trick candles ! ! ! They are the ones that don't blow out!

So today I stuck all 52, I mean 53 (we added two for good luck)and lit them all which took about 2 minutes to do. The candles were so close together that they gave off a massive amount of heat melting (and burning) the cake, they also gave off enough smoke to set off the smoke alarm!!! Now the next part was all caught on camera!!

My mom took a deep breath and blew out all the candles, however...they came back and she tried it a second and third time, then my brother and I joined in the battle. Then we came to the realization... how are we going to put out 53 trick candles?
The candles were spitting all over her nice new white table cloth, my sister (who is afraid of the fire, {these candles were her idea}) had to leave the room with a slight panic attack. The dogs were running around because of our excitement, the candles were burning down to the cake....OH NO they are setting the cake on fire!! They are burning the cake. I was about to lift the cake into the kitchen to set it down on the counter (which does not have a flamable table cloth) when my dad came to the rescue!!!....with a pair of pliers and a bowl of water. And in a fit of laughter he grabbed each buring candle one by one and dunked it in the water. After about 5 minutes all of the candles were relieved of their birthday duties and enjoyed a nice cool bath in a soup bowl.
Fearing my mom's birthday was ruined my sister suggested for her to open her presents (however it was not ruined!! she had a wonderful day and this spectaulor just added to the laughter and memories we are all sure to always have)
As she opened her presents, I examined the cake carefully.. CREME BRULEE I screamed, and dove into the cake with a spoon.

I think next year we will either get a bigger cake, or use fewer candles....maybe by next year my nose hairs will grow back :)

-Have an interesting birthday story? Please share in the comment section ! ! !

P.S. and for the next 20 minutes my brother and I stood in the hallway, waving jackets and towels to try to get the smoke detectors to stop!
-At least we know they work?!

Beautiful Sights

These are the most Beautiful Sights I have ever seen
1. A child run to his mother, for one last hug
2. A fire burning in its place
3. A family laughing at its mistakes
4. Friends singing in the rain
5. Sisters racing to the door
6. Little boys tying to explore
7. Lost souls fining their way
8. Dreamers reaching their escape
9. Goalgetters succeededing in reaching the stars
10.Graduation hugs shared by all

Cynicals and optimists for thought

As I picked up my weekly newsweek, one word came to mind to describe all the writers: cynical. And I presume that these writers are intelligent people since they are all very articulate and seem to support their opinions fairly well. And for some reason my urekha disappointed me; and I started to think of all the most intelligent people in my life, and they all are rather cynical. Now I don't know about you, but cynical is not a postive characteristic in my book. How come there is a connection between the two? And also I have noticed that cynical people do not seem to be as happy as optimists. Are optimists just happy by their choice not to look deeply into the corrupt world around them, or do they just see the good in everyone and in the world and realize things are not really that bad?
I myself prefer to be an optimist, and yes that livestyle can be hard. Sometimes your reasoning does not always answer why things happen, however it makes me happy. People and my government probably have and will take more advantage of me, and I might be more gullible than the next person. But being an optimist does not make one stupid, I would like to think myself rather clever and I know when I am blatantly being fooled. So I don't like to find the faults in my culture, the world and everyday life-is that so bad?

Wishes and youth

Today I was at a Girl Scout function, girls from all ages were invited. I was one of the oldest Girl Scouts being a "senior." As I was watching some of the younger girls run around, and laugh with their friends, I rememebered back to Middle and Elementary school. I absolutly loved Middle School, Elementary was not bad either. It had been a time when life was simple and sheltered. I some times envy kids younger me, I envy their stressfree, carefree easy lives. Now I live by a schedule and one bad grade on a test could prevent me from getting into a desired college. Everything I do now has a chain effect, and now I am 100% resonsible for all that I do. With age comes more freedoms, but even more limits. Yes I can drive a car, but first I have to pay for issurance, gas money, and keep the car in good working condition. All that I want to do requires money and time. Which you don't have one if you have to other. Example: you want to travel: you need to work to save enough money but now you don't have the time, if you don't work you have the time but no money. Plus, it's hard to save money if you have to feed, clothe and house yourself. sigh, wouldn't life be so much easier if you won the lottery at age 16?

A Brand New Decade

As I watched the ball drop on New Year's Eve, surrounded by family, friends, and pets I reflected back on the last ten years. I had grown up and become more mature, my writing had improved, I've graduated Elementary and Middle school and now I know what I want to do with my life and the future of my blog. I now a junior in High School, realized at that moment that I was 6 when the ball dropped, ringing in the millenium those ten years ago. Then after the hoots and hollers I thought of what would come to pass in the next ten years....I would have graduated high school, hopefully gotten into college, graduated and then have gone on for more schooling or have gotten a job. The next ten years are exciting and the beginning of my adult life. Hopefully I can look back in 2020 and be proud, accomplished and happy.

Climbing the Mountains

I remember it was during my elementary years, when I first read Halfway to the Sky by Kimberly Bradley. My mom and I read this engrossing novel together about a thirteen year old girl who ran away from her broken home and grief over her dead brother to hike the Appalachian Trail. The Trail runs along the Appalachian Mountains and stretches from Maine to Georgia. Avid hikers try to complete this 2,000+ mile trail in a span of six months; while in the mean time they have to carry all their essentials and supplies on their backs and face the extreme heat, cold, rain, storms and exhuastion.
I'm not completely sure why sleeping in a tent for six months outside appealed to me the way it did, but for some reason I wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail. Be a thru-hiker as the lingo goes...carrying my dirty clothes, tent, food, pot etc., on my back just me and nature 24/7, just walking all day long.
And yes I know that I might only have the chance to get a shower once a week, food won't be the best cuisine, have to hike and walk all day in the rain soaked to the bone, the heat will make me smell worst than a bear and the cold might freeze my toes off. For some reason from that time in elementary school til now...I just want to go and hike it. And my intention has been to take the first oppurtunity I get and just go! Either hike it from Maine to Georgia or Georgie to Maine. I have even started planning the trip, I'll start in Georgia and the end of February and work my way up the trail to end in Maine around October latest.
A few conflicts have come in the way school, work, money, and or with or without a partner. The trail can be dangerous if you don't hike in a group or with a partner.
Maybe it was my mom who planted this dream in my head, but it has stuck and I have no intention of letting it go but instead seeing it through ! !